


That Tang tho

by Vilatus



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4419299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vilatus/pseuds/Vilatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex and I played a writing game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Tang tho

**Author's Note:**

> Completely unedited hfhhfhksjdhfkj

Shinji was sitting in Mcdonalds eating a burger with a TANGO ORANGE when an Angel attacked. Shinji stared at the Angel and his jaw dropped to the floor in shock. He began to drool. The Angel was wearing nothing but thigh high tights and garters It was slightly disturbing, and wrong on so many levels, but Shinji had seen worse considering his father watched cable porn all the time. He was still a rather well adjusted adult who only wet the bed sometimes and even when that happened it was usually with cum. He was so fucked up that he had brought his hentai mags into McDonalds with him, and would probably bring them into the plug with him later while fighting the angel the plug felt so good inside, it reminded Shinji just how much he loved to shove things inside himself…Angels, glass bottles, breadsticks. All those felt so good in his asshole. Shinji realized this was really gay, yes, but that didn't stop him from doing it anyway and enjoying it as he thought of Kaworu. He also thought of freshly cut pineapples, dripping with sweet juice. Shinji shuddered. Nothing got him hornier than the thought of pineapples. Pineapples were sexy bastards, and Shinji enjoyed every minute of the plump, vibrantly colored erotic foods. He wished they made huge pineapple dildos, they’d have to be the size of cans to satisfy him though, his ass was like a train station for dicks considering the amount that passed through. Then he stopped and thought- what would an angel's dick be like? A massive creature from space surely was good at sex. But Shinji had his own secret sex skills, he had one move that wowed all his partners. Some even came just from the sight of it! First he would strip naked and lie down on the floor, then he would smear his naked body in cat food and mewl at them. He couldn’t wait to try it with Kaworu. Surely this new brand of ice cream was fantastic, and with it being cherry flavor it would be Kaworu's favourite. Shinji would like to wager that Kaworu’s Big Daddy dick tasted like cherries, if it did then cherries would surely become his favourite flavour too, almost rivalling with pineapples. Kaworu had once told Shinji how he admired pineapples, they were easy to destroy and sweet on the inside, but bit back when you ate them Shinji couldn’t stand his teasing train of thought any longer, he was so undeniably turned on right now he just had to have Kaworu right then and there, but as he turned to his scantily clad Angel, Kaworu’s head fucking blew up. Shinji in that instant was reminded that he left the dryer on at home, and that his clothes would be wrinkly and shit when he got back, Kaworu was weird as hell, but he had wanted him to blow his head if you catch the drift. Unfortunately it was too late now, there was only one thing for Shinji left to do. He removed the plug from God knows where it was still residing this entire time, smeared pineapple on his aching erection and then crammed his leftover cheeseburger and what was left of his drink down in his throat, in an attempt of a greasy, mcdonalds suicide. The burgers had played hell on his intestines, and he longed for the sweet embrace of the hamburglar, as well as death. His dying mind conjured up images of a sweet parting fantasy – His Angel Kaworu lovingly smearing himself with Pineapple, cherries pierced against his nipples and the hamburgler wantonly running his meaty hands all the way up Kaworu’s chest to grasp his face and pull him down into a heated kiss. Shinji imagined all this and smiled. He pissed himself and ejaculated as he died.


End file.
